8.21.21-2.22.13

  written by Dan

 

My Dad died last night.

 

I’d thought about this day for a long time.  I knew it would come one day, and I wouldn’t be there.  But it still came as a shock.

 

I vaguely remember a dream this morning.  We were in Santa Cruz , Krista and the girls, driving south on Highway 1.  It was a beautiful day, full of sunshine.  Then, in my dream, Krista seemed very concerned about something.  The mood changed.  She was trying to tell me something important.  The dream slowly blurred into reality – Krista was waking me up Saturday morning.  My brother was on Skype with bad news – my Dad had just passed away.

 

I tried to pull my thoughts together while Krista was talking with Tom and Dawn.  What happened?  Should I buy a plane ticket?  Should we return for good?  Is everyone OK? 

 

We last saw my Dad in August, the day we returned to the Czech Republic .  A few days earlier he had broken his shoulder.  Not wanting to bother anyone, he had driven himself to the doctor and not told anyone about it.  That was Dad – always generous but never wanting to be a burden.  We were blessed to spend much of the summer with him. 

 

Jack Richard Coyan, “Bud” to anyone who knew him, was one of the kindest, most generous individuals I have ever been blessed with knowing.  I could go on and on about his character, both with his family and friends and in his work, but if you knew him you already know about that.  Dad was one of the “great generation” – he flew bombers in World War II but fortunately for him the war ended a few weeks before his unit was to deploy for the invasion of Japan .  He married Gladys, the love of his life, in 1959.  After her death in 1996, he was very close with us.  He and Rebekah were inseparable buddies when she was a toddler. Later after he moved to Manteca , he and Roxie would disappear into his backyard where they would dig up earthworms together.

 

Dad was instrumental in our missions work.  When we told him our plans for it, he was very supportive.  After we sold our house and everything, he turned his house into a home away from home for us.  He set up a room for Roxie and Rebekah, and insisted that Krista and I stay in his master bedroom while he slept in the guest bedroom.  We lived with him for a few months in 2007 before departing for the Czech Republic , and it was a great time.  He spoiled the girls rotten, and they still have warm memories of that time.  I think he was a little worried for them – being dragged off to a strange eastern European country. 

 

After we arrived, he regularly sent “care packages” to us – mainly for Roxie and Rebekah.  At least once a month, and more often twice a month, we would receive these amazing boxes full of things that we couldn’t get here.  The postage was outrageous – more than $50 a box oftentimes – but he always faithfully sent those care packages.  Some of those boxes meant the difference between a depressing or dark day, and a joyful day.  For the girls, not only getting these little pieces of America (Reese’s PB cups, magazines, beef jerkey, etc.) made a difference, but I think knowing that “Opa” was out there remembering them.  Dad was also our biggest financial supporter, and never missed a month’s support.  More than that, he was our biggest “cheerleader”.  I can’t tell you the numerous emails and Skype talks we had, full of encouragement.

 

In 2008, a new law was passed requiring us to purchase expensive Czech health insurance for the girls.  We were unaware of this law until we went to pick up our annual visas that summer.  The Czech foreign police told us our visas would be denied and we would have to leave the country unless we purchased the insurance within the week.  We didn’t have the money, and didn’t want to ask anyone.  My Dad happened to write to ask how things were going.  I told him what happened, without asking or saying any amount, and within 15 minutes he had transferred $1000 into our bank account with a note “Let me know if you need more”.  He was just that way.  Whenever we would feel alone or questioning our purpose here, we would receive an encouraging email from Dad. 

 

Dad recently asked in an email why God was keeping him on earth so long.  I told him how important he was to us.  Without his support and encouragement, we would have left the mission field a few years ago – probably in 2010. 

 

Dad’s health had been declining recently.  Last summer, Krista and I went to the heart doctor with him.  The doctor gave him the news that his heart was failing, and he needed a new valve and a double bypass.  Dad was told that there was about a 10% chance that he wouldn't make it through, but that if the surgery was successful he could have 5-10 more good years.  He made it through the surgery, but never seemed to fully recover.  He had his good days and bad days.  He had been falling more recently, so a few weeks ago he agreed to stay with Tom and Dawn for a while.  I am so glad he did.  He told me they have been angels to him.  On Thursday, they took Dad out for his favorite food at a BBQ restaurant, and then to his favorite diner for a chocolate malt.  He was feeling pretty good.  On Friday, he took a nap after lunch.  He never woke up.  He died peacefully in his sleep that afternoon.

 

I’d like to leave you with the closing of the final email he sent me, just a few weeks ago.  It really shows the heart of this great man:

Stay well.  Always "look up" for guidance.  I am enjoying my walk with the Lord.  Someday it will be "face to face"!  Just a few hours ago I was thinking, "What if my doorbell rang and when I opened it there was Jesus?"  All I'd be able to say to Him is "Thank you.  Thank you."  There are no riches on this earth that He would want or need.  I wonder if He will be like He is shown in so many of His pictures?

The minute I put my hand in His, I will know that it's Jesus.  I remember like it was yesterday - 1966 when I had a massive heart attack - I reached through a set of doors with my hand.  I felt a hand (His) take my hand and just hold it.  I would know that feeling anytime.  A feeling of peace, security, and no worrying.  That day is coming again for me!  Praise the Lord!

That feeling - it was kind of like how a father would hold the hand of one of his children.  My hand was completely encompassed by His hand.  Like a father keeps tabs on one of his own in a crowd.  I have no worries.  I am just enjoying having Jesus as a friend to keep me in check.

Love to all.  Dad "Bud" "Opa"

 

Goodbye Dad.

primary virtues

Watching young children learn and grow is a singular privilege. How much more is this privilege evident but at Townshend International School where the children come from many countries and cultures and speak many languages. Practicing virtues becomes so much more meaningful when we must be patient and loving toward someone who does things so differently than us and who can’t understand what we are saying. Tolerance takes on new meaning when faced with a friend who has different ideas and opinions and thinks in ways incomprehensible to you. The beauty of our little school is such that we take a child from a very young age and plant him in fertile soil enriched with tongues and civilizations both near and far. This little one grows knowing not that his classmate is so different from himself only that he has many friends from whom he learns great things and is thus a richer person indeed. I am constantly floored as I see the earnest fluidity with which these gorgeous creatures accept the many differences and the new experiences and the plethora of new vocabulary.  Illustrating this point, I was asking one of our Danish students to say something to me in his mother tongue. Just as a curiosity, I was thinking to myself. Though unintelligible to me, it was not lost on his German friend who immediately responded in Danish. Staring at them both with mouth agape, I asked how he understood. He answered me astutely, “He is my friend, of course I learned to speak Danish.”

For if we are friends the work ceases to be arduous and becomes for us a joy.

vegan cookbook #2

Mexican Hot Chocolate Snickerdoodles

adapted from Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar

topping:
1/3 cup sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

cookies:
1/2 cup canola oil
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup pure maple syrup
3 tablespoons almond milk (or your preferred non-dairy milk)2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 2/3 cups whole wheat flour
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon (or more to taste...we usually use 1 1/2)

Preheat oven to 350 F. Line 2 large baking sheets with parchment paper.
Mix the topping ingredients together on a flat plate. Set aside.
In a medium mixing bowlmix together oil,  sugar, syrup, milk and extracts.
Stir in remaining ingredients, mix until you’ve got a pliable dough.
Roll dough into walnut sized balls. Pat into the sugar topping to flatten into roughly 2 inch discs. Transfer to baking sheet, sugar side up, at least 2 inches apart (they do spread). Bake for 10 to 12 minutes, they should be a bit spread and crackly on top.

reunited

This is our Rebekah and her cousin Sarah Kraft at Rebekah's 3rd birthday party. Shortly after this, Sarah and her family moved away to Vancouver so my dream of the cousins growing up together was crushed. As I see it, a miracle from God happened 6 months ago when the Kraft family moved to Germany and we started visiting with them now every month since November after not having seen them for over 10 years.

What I dig most about this photo is how worried Bekah looks even as a three year old. This girl gotta learn to relax!

life in this republic

Der Deutsche Bahn

Czech trains are old. The bathroom is literally a toilet seat with a foot pedal that opens a hole revealing the train tracks whizzing by below. The compartments are ala 60 years ago. There is something quaint, nostalgic and exotic about them in a Siberian Railway sort of way, but more as a point of interest and not as a comfy mode of transport.  

Jetzt der Deutsche Bahn, and now the German Train...fast, comfy, they serve you coffee and stuff. Lots of room, clean, elegant. A proper bathroom that gets cleaned often. No Czech Police harassing you.

We totally loved the ICE train from Passau to Nurnburg and then its little sister, the regional train from Nurnburg to Karlsruhe. We spent 5 hours at a 4 seat bay with a table, just playing games, reading, drawing and chatting. The ICE train even had a full restaurant. I told Roxie that next time we are on the train (which will be this spring or early summer, I'm sure) we will eat in the restaurant. We didn't eat in it this trip because I had packed us PB&Js and I didn't want to waste them.

One of the best things about the train was our new friend who we have named "Rasta Sauce". We first saw him in the lobby of the Passau train station, a bean pole of an African rapper-looking dude with knotty cornrows and clothing emblazoned with Bob Marley's face. Literally. Each piece had a screen print of Bob Marley, t-shirt, jeans, jacket. His pants were slung so low that his bum was fully hanging out in his electric blue Calvin Kleins. His head phones were slung around his neck thus sharing his music with all of us. He kept saying "Mother F#@$%#" as loudly as possible. A few minutes later we are standing on platform 9 awaiting our train. There is "Rasta Sauce" dancing. Fully dancing on the platform to the amusement of all of us. He is totally in his own world. Oh, and singing...really loudly.

WE are now comfortably seated in our seats, things arranged neatly on our table. The gentleman across from us is busily working. He has papers and highlighters strewn on his table and he looks focused and serious. In walks "Rasta Sauce". There are dozens of empty seats in this car alone. He chooses the seat sharing a table with "Serious Businessman". He could have sat anywhere, but much to our delight, he is now sitting across from us highly irritating "Serious Businessman". "Rasta Sauce" takes his headphones off his head and puts them around his neck filling our car with pounding reggae. "Serious Businessman" puts in his ipod headphones. "Rasta Sauce" orders coffee and strews the wrappers from the cream and sugar all over the table. "Serious Businessman" gathers his papers over to one corner to save them from damage. "Rasta Sauce" starts singing. "Serious Businessman" turns up the volume on his ipod. "Rasta Sauce" lays down across the two seats and flails his arms all about in an effort to get comfortable. "Serious Businessman" tries to ignore him and continues highlighting. "Rasta Sauce" receives a phone call and talks LOUDLY in an African language of unknown origin. "Serious Businessman" looks miserable. Only two hours, sir, and then you can leave the train...

It was awesome!

gratitude

1. family (who happen to be our best friends) only 6 hours away

2. day two of not being so sick as to want to check in to the hospital

3. safe journies

4. seeing my husband at the bottom of the stairs at the Passau train station after a long journey home

5. a day out with my friend, Julie

6. perfect pretzels and sweet mustard

7. Rebekah's progress this weekend...I am so proud of you!

8. a deeply intimate and spiritual conversation, safe with friends, over a bowl of potato soup

9. being ready for the first day back at school

10. trams

life in this republic

karlsruhe

Tomorrow the girls and I are getting on a train for a five hour journey to see our cousins in Germany. They live in Karlsruhe near the French border, so we must cross the whole of Germany to see them.

We are so looking forward to hanging out for a long weekend, playing games, going out for coffee and chatting. The girls love each other. Rebekah's counterpart is Sarah, also 15 years old. Roxie's other half is Anna, who just turned 12. The girls are very similar to their counterparts and have an awesome time together. I love hanging out with Danny's cousin, Chris, and his wife, Julie.

Danny can't make it this trip as the plague had him basically in bed for 3 weeks and he must get prepared for school which starts Monday. He will be having a bachelor weekend. I told him that all I care about is a clean house when I get home. I just finished cleaning it right now to give him a head start.

I'm a bit nervous about transferring trains as I am severely disabled when it comes to navigating any type of transportation or travelling. As long as I don't panic and have my German phrase book handy...

vegan cookbook #1

chickpea curry over coconut rice

I have been asked to periodically post our vegan meals...

It isn't all that easy nor all that difficult to be vegan in the Czech Republic. It just requires alot of creativity, substitutions and flexibility. The girls and I call it "Kitchen Chemistry". Rebekah and Roxie are becoming quite good cooks and they know how to amend recipes to make them vegan.

For those of you who don't know, I have been vegan for a year now and it was one of the best decisions I've made. My family eats mostly vegan with me and they have learned to like new spices, flavours and textrures.

A few of my favourite websites are

http://www.theppk.com/

http://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/

http://havecakewilltravel.com/

This recipe is adapted from

 Appetite for Reduction

by Isa Chandra Moskowitz

chickpea curry over coconut rice

1 t oil

1 smaill white onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic

1 T minced fresh ginger

2 cans chopped tomatoes (fresh is preferable, but I ran out)

2 pounds peeled and chopped potatoes

1 pound chopped green beans

1 cup peas

1 t salt

2 t curry powder (I used mild)

2 t garam masala (heaven in a jar!)

1 t cumin

1 cup veggie broth

1 can chickpeas, drained and rinsed

Chopped fresh cilantro to garnish

Saute onion and garlic in oil for 5 min. over medium heat. Add ginger and cook for another minute. Mix in tomatoes, beans, salt and cook, stirring for another minute.

Mix in all spices, potatoes, vegetable broth, stir and cover the pot. Bring to a slow boil and simmer for 40 minutes.

Add the chickpeas and green peas and cook uncovered for 10 minutes. Serve topped with fresh cilantro over a bed of coconut rice and some naan.

coconut rice

2 cups basmati rice

1 and 3/4 cups water

2 cups coconut milk

1/4 cup shredded coconut

Stir together all ingredients until rolling boil. Simmer on low covered for 20 minutes. Serve with your favourite curry!

And now, Israel, what does the LORD require of you, but to reverence the LORD, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the commandments and statutes of the LORD, which I am commanding you today for your good?
Deuteronomy 10:12-13

יב  וְעַתָּה, יִשְׂרָאֵל--מָה יְהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ, שֹׁאֵל מֵעִמָּךְ:  כִּי אִם-לְיִרְאָה אֶת-יְהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ לָלֶכֶת בְּכָל-דְּרָכָיו, וּלְאַהֲבָה אֹתוֹ, וְלַעֲבֹד אֶת-יְהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ, בְּכָל-לְבָבְךָ וּבְכָל-נַפְשֶׁךָ.
יג  לִשְׁמֹר אֶת-מִצְו‍ֹת יְהוָה, וְאֶת-חֻקֹּתָיו, אֲשֶׁר אָנֹכִי מְצַוְּךָ, הַיּוֹם--לְטוֹב, לָךְ.

and I am done with my graceless heart

So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart

(thanks Florence + the machine)

Lost, yesterday, somewhere between sunrise and sunset, two golden hours, each set with sixty diamond minutes.

No reward is offered for they are gone forever.

Horace Mann

These last several months have brought with them suffering, frustration, sorrow and confusion leaving TIME for nothing but survival. But, happy day, joy comes to us in the morning. We enter the morning of our New Year awoken by the God who hears and sees and is merciful and loving. My TIME is His. On what shall I spend this both rare and ubiquitous commodity?

I have TIME for school...
I am studying
UCSC for certification as an administrator of schools
Bible History course
Jewish studies at an online yeshiva

I have TIME for family...
dates with my husband and the girls
game night
dinners around the table
popcorn and a movie whilst in jammies on the couch
Skype with my much missed family across the pond


I have TIME for friends...
Bible study group ( I love you guys!)
monthly themed dinners at our house
Ladies' nights

I have TIME for myself...
got a fair few books for Christmas
going to the gym and the sauna
studying: for me it is a joy


I have TIME for faith...
taking opportunities to help and love others
prayer
Holy Scripture
loving God
allowing myself to be loved